Evolution of a 'Second-World Country'

Amsterdam Day One

The date was April 4, 1994. The question was, ‘Would I be willing to give up my acting career in Manhattan to come do comedy in Amsterdam for the summer?’ Since I was living on tips and paying rent via credit card, the answer was an immediate YES.

My idea of Amsterdam was shared by most Americans, I suppose: The Golden Age, Anne Frank, then sex & drugs and downhill from there. To be honest, I expected one big red light district, full of grand, old buildings that had seen better days. I was in for a lovely surprise.

I remember getting off the plane at Schiphol Airport and thinking there may have been a mistake. It was such a modern, sleek, well-designed airport I thought, ‘this can’t be Amsterdam.’ It seemed like a model for a more modern American airport. In fact, that’s exactly what it was – shortly afterward, the Dutch had been called upon to redesign JFK. I’m going to sound like Bill Bryson, but I was pleasantly surprised at the free baggage carts. They were actually larger – LARGER! – than their American counterparts. And they were free. I couldn't get over that. I had seriously misjudged the Netherlands.

The signs were in English. The ads were for Heineken. And the first thing I saw out of Customs was Burger King. I thought I was in Pittsburgh.

And the charm offensive continued. Instead of having to surrender my baggage cart, I was able to take it right down to the train platform. It was my first time on a walkway escalator, and the handbrake on my baggage cart actually worked. Within 1 hour, I’d already started to redefine my definition of ‘2^nd world country.’ That term was now reserved for JFK International.